


( Initial Interview )

by masky_gabe



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 13:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18261917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masky_gabe/pseuds/masky_gabe
Summary: 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈..... 𝑭𝒊𝒍𝒆: 𝑸𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒛𝒆𝒍, 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒔





	( Initial Interview )

❝There was a moment when everything used to be alright, where I’d watch them dance in the living room. Their laughter always filled the space with warmth. My parents were my ray of sunlight. Their smiles were something I loved going home to. What always made me run back, my huge plastic backpack thumping loudly as it hit my back whenever I ran towards the steps. My hand reaching for the black iron railing.

Things were always so simple, when you couldn’t understand. Where you were so young you can’t make sense of your father being home early, sitting on the couch with a sharp wicked smell on his breath as he stumbles towards you with a smile. The stumble getting progressively worse over time. From being able to stand to not even pushing the words out anymore because they were laced with a malicious mumble from what he had consumed.

Peeking outside my window, I could see him smoking. And I remember running to my mother asking her about that. Why? She tensed her jaw, and formed the most awkward smile. Something forced, that I can only ever equate to the toxin I helped with Joker with myself, that forced devilish smile, skin pulling in awkward directions. Inhuman like smile. That’s what she looked like to me, even if I didn’t know it. She put on a mask.

More and more I saw, but couldn’t explain. I’d go to school and drawn these images and I’d be sent to the principal's office and they’d call in my mother. Once she saw, I could see the shame in her eyes as if I’d uttered some disturbing secret she wished would never get out. I knew then that I couldn’t do that. Not anymore.

And he found out. I could hear it from my room as I crept towards the door, pushing off the off brand Mermaid Princess comforter. When my feet touched the floor, I felt cold as I inched closer to see what I had caused. I could hear my mother, asking my father to please be quiet she didn’t want to wake the kids. And he took offence to that. He could do as he pleased.

I pushed the door slightly. I could see them both, my mom in her red nightgown and my father dressed, fully dressed with his hand on her mouth, and the other on her throat. I could see my mother saw me, but she didn’t say anything. I watched him, hit her repeatedly and her just saying over and over how sorry she was. How much she loved him and that she’d never do that again. But she didn’t do it. I did. I drew the picture of my mother with a black eye.

The following days, weren’t normal. Nothing ever went back to normal. I’d watch my father, sometimes even peer outside my window seeing him talking to people. Them giving him money. Him giving them money. Something was going on. I wouldn’t understand. I couldn’t understand how much further he was falling deeper and my mother with him.

There were nights he came home with flowers, an apology and I’d watch my mother cry. They’d be like that for weeks sometimes, where things were like they used to be but then, the nightmare would begin again. I’d hear yelling, things breaking and creep into my brother’s room to make sure my dad wouldn’t enter. Barry, I didn’t want him to see. I never wanted him to know why I was shaking, always shaking and scared. ❞

The blonde doctor sat there silently, waiting for Harley to continue. Harley stayed silent biting on her lip, then gradually fixating on her nail before adjusting how she sat on the couch. The Psychiatrist watched the other carefully, her eyes moving over the former villain’s frame before trying to catch Harley’s attention once more. “ Harley. And last night? You said something brought these memories back.”

Harley fluttered her lashes, and nodded. It felt stupid, maybe even unnecessary now. Her guard was ready to come back up. But instead she sighed, rubbing her eye as she was desperate to let someone know about last night. She didn’t know who to talk to, not anymore. She felt as if she was all alone. No one was there as the water was pulling her down, deeper into the dark blue until she couldn’t breath.

❝ I thought , well. I woke up or I thought I woke up. And there was this really sweet smell next to me. I saw her, her beautiful red hair on the pillow next to me. But I haven’t talked to her in a while. I didn’t understand why she was there. I tried to wake her up but she was just out of it. I could hear just outside in the hall, movement. And so I pushed off my sheets, and touched the floor. I walked towards the door and I saw my mother. I saw her, crying and my father with his hand on her mouth and throat. I know she saw me. But she didn’t say anything. And I turned around to go to … Red, but she was gone and I was in bed again.

I remember trying to rub my eyes, and glad that I woke up. That it was just a dream but I smelled something from the other end. On the table at the other end of the bed, there was an ashtray and a bottle of whiskey. I could feel my heart sink. Two things I associate with my father, right there next to my bed. And I pulled at the shoulder, and he groaned. It wasn’t my father. But it was someone I loved so much, far too much, there. A gun on the right, his gun at the end of the bedside table. The smell of cigarettes still lingering in the air. And then I could hear it again. Movement outside, this time I reached for the gun instead of pushing him like I did with her, to look at me. I used his gun to go to the door. And there they were again, my mom. My dad. Both of them arguing. My dad’s voice louder, like a thunderstorm. I could feel his voice echoing through my body. And I woke up again. Again. And I was so done. I was so angry.

And there, next to me. Someone else. The alcohol and the cigarettes gone. The table immaculate, and clean. Nothing in the room out of place. Between us a line of stuffed animals. And I reached for him to touch his shoulder but I couldn’t. There was a wall. There was something not letting me near him. I punched and screamed for him to wake up. To let me in, but he turned on his side, ignorant to my screams.

That’s where I felt it. This hand on my shoulder and I felt his hand move to my throat, squeezing it. I’m choking, and crying. And he’s laughing. My face hurts. Like he has been hitting me all day. It’s not my father. It’s him. It’s the Joker, angry at me again for something I didn’t do right. Or for nothing. He never had a real reason to do anything he did. And I feel the back of his hand against my face, and he lifts me by the throat, and I see this little girl in the corner of my eye. I see her, and she looks so scared. And I don’t say anything. But I know, I know that’s me. Me looking at myself being beaten by someone, I just kept uttering all over again that I love them and that I won't do it again.

But he notices her. He notices her and drops me on the floor. And I run, I run to stop him. I tell myself, the little girl, I tell her to run. To find help. And she tells me, but they won’t let me in. And I look around, I look and they are all standing there, Red, Floyd, Jason and I can see their silhouettes, the light hitting behind them and they slowly close their doors. And I wake up. This time for real. I touch my throat, I gasp. And I see him turned over on his side, sleeping. And for a second I think about waking him up but then I remember that wall in my dream. And I stop. I just get up and walk to the kitchen to get a drink of water. ❞

The doctor looked on at the other, and nodded. “ Did you tell him about your dream?” The answer was obvious. Harley hadn’t done any of that, she most likely wouldn’t anyway. “Do you want to address the dream? And how you---”

❝No. I know all of this already, I don’t feel like Pam wants to look at me, that she’s absent. With Floyd, I was pushed back because of just small similarities to my childhood, but I still used what he knew to help myself feel safe. And with… well, it’s obvious, I feel like there is a wedge between us. Like I’m outside of him, not within it. These are all things of how I feel, projected, doesn’t meant they are true.❞

The doctor nodded her head, “Impressive. And yes, but are you going to talk to him about that? There’s a reason your mind went over all of them. You care about each of them, and it ended with him. Are you going to tell him? Talk to him to maybe get rid of this wall you feel is there?”

❝I don’t know. Funny, how you fixate on him, with all that backstory about my parents, though. I would have thought you’d be all like, let’s talk about your relationship with them. Harley, nightmares of your father are connected to the abuse you faced with the Joker. Trigger, Trigger. But you immediately went to him.❞

The doctor, let out a small smile. Her face a little less amused with Harley. “ You know why we are talking about him, Harley. You know very well. Why you remembered yourself as a child, why your child-self was watching you from the corner. You’re still afraid of the Joker. You’re afraid of what he’d do when he finds out. You’re scared of being a mo…”

❝ Shut up! Shut up, Harleen! Shut up. Shut up! ❞


End file.
